Yes, well. This post has taken ages to write. In fact, I don’t think I am going to write much.
I trained hard and focussed on MP – 9:07min/mil. I wanted to beat my PB of 4:12, which has stood since 2014. I wanted to get a 3:xx – maybe even a 3:55…
Training was fine – I had missed a week as I had a really rubbish cold and cough which was bronchial, so I could run but couldn’t sleep as every time I laid down I coughed up a lung. Antibiotics fixed that but put paid to a PB attempt in Colchester half marathon, although I still managed a sub 2.
Six days a week was exhausting but fine and I never dreaded a run. I eked out rest time and worked out if I did an early run on Wednesday morning my rest would be until Friday morning.
Rotterdam was hot. The weeks before had been spent packing to move house. I work away from home. I had had a cold during training. I didn’t sleep well the previous week. All of those excuses, but what it comes down to is that I failed to maintain MP, or close to it, beyond the first five miles. In fact, it was my worst time (excluding the trail marathons) ever.
Heartbroken. I love running but after four years of four months of hard training twice a year, of 5am wake ups and missing social events and occasions because I have a run to do, only to choke on race day, I’m pretty close to done.
I have Luxembourg at the end of May and Chicago in October. I’ll do those without any kind of time in mind, and that’ll be it for me.Sixteen is a good number. I’m not strong enough to cope with another round of hope, hard work and optimism followed by disappointment and shame.